


To the girl I love

by Gay_Natasha_Saves_The_World



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, First Love, Fluff, Hogwarts, Love Letters, Possibly Unrequited Love, Secret Crush, Shyness, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-29 05:59:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15723402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_Natasha_Saves_The_World/pseuds/Gay_Natasha_Saves_The_World
Summary: The first letter was sent on Halloween during their second year. They came in, one each month, for two years each one sweeter than the last. Tonks wanted to know who was sending them but what will happen when she finds out?





	1. Chapter 1

‘You give me the feeling of a summers day. Your eyes are as encapturing as the sun and your laugh is like a warm breeze flowing through the trees. I can only imagine that your embrace is like laying in a green meadows and that your kiss is like a sweet honeysuckle in bloom. Without you, life is like a cold winter day. No laughter or happiness would enter my life. You are to me what the sun is to the earth.’ 

Y/N looked it over again then signed her initials. She sighed and sealed the envelope containing the letter. This would be the 20th letter that she sent to her long time crush. She has been writing them since second year. She never got the guts to talk to her about it so these letters made her feel close to her even if there was nothing else to it. There were no warm embraces, there were no sweet laughs and there were no tender kisses. There was only one letter a month.

Some of it might be due to the fact that Y/N was too cowardly to tell her how she felt to her face. The words on paper seemed to do fine but there was still the veil of anonymity. That veil kept Y/N safe. Safe from the judgement of anyone and safe from the rejection of Tonks. That’s what she feared above all. The only people to ever know who wrote the letters were herself and her friend Zeke. 

Y/N sent the letter to be delivered in the morning. She thought about what life would be like if she hadn’t sent the first letter and just told Tonks herself. Maybe they would have been together or maybe they wouldn’t talk to each other. Whatever might have happened if she hadn’t written that letter on the night before Halloween was lost when she picked up her quill. There wasn’t any way to turn back but Y/N didn’t want to. She loved writing them but what she loved more was the way Tonks looked when she read her letters.

Every reaction was different than the last. Sometimes it was embarrassment when her friends took it from her and read it. Sometimes it was fondness when Y/N payed extra attention to the words that she wrote. But more often than not, it was curiosity. Who was this person who wrote to her every month? Who possibly could love her so much but never dare to come close to her? Will she ever get to meet this person?

Y/N couldn’t dwell on the thoughts for too long. She had an essay for muggle studies and a star chart for astronomy. She gave the letter to the owlery and got back to her commons room to work.

When she stepped into it she saw Zeke sitting in a chair waiting for her. She gave him a half hearted smile and sat next to him. He turned to her and asked “How many have you sent now?” Y/N sighed and mumbled “Twenty.” “Twenty letters and you still haven’t actually talked to her?” “Well yeah. That’s kind of the whole point.” “If you want to be with her, you have to actually talk to her, Y/N.” “I know, Zeke but I’m still scared.” “Of what, Y/N?” “What if when she meets me she doesn’t like me?”

Y/N had always been insecure when it came to her appearance. She never thought she was anything special or someone that anyone would want. Every time she looked in the mirror there was always something she wanted to change. Wether it was her weight or her height or her nose or her hair, Y/N always found something wrong with herself. Of course her family and friends told her that she was perfect or that she shouldn’t worry about it so much but no matter what they said it was still there in the back of her mind.

She finished her essay and starchart and headed off to bed. The night went by fast. She knew that the letter would be delivered in the morning and with that will come the feeling of longing but Y/N wouldn’t dare to get closer to Tonks then the letters allowed her too. But even with the letters the longing was still there. Y/N wanted more than the letters. She wanted to be with Tonks but how would she get any closer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To learn more about the character Zeke, follow Ezmiho on SoundCloud


	2. Chapter 2

The months had passed and before Y/N knew it, it was January. She was still writing the letters and Zeke was still telling her to just talk to Tonks. But she didn’t. She found peace in writing a letter. She could say the things that wouldn’t dare to come out of her mouth. Every single one of her emotions could be conveyed through a quill and a peace of parchment.

Zeke had been bugging her about Tonks for the past few months. Every time they saw her walking down the corridors Zeke would nudge Y/N with his elbow. He would tease her about Tonks and her letters. Y/N knew it was all good fun but it still made her question herself. Would it really just be better to tell Tonks? Y/N didn’t know what to do.

Whatever she was going to do didn’t matter now. She was almost late to defense against the dark arts. This years teacher was more lenient than last years but Y/N still didn’t want to be late. She practically ran to the class room and got there just before the class started. She tried to find Zeke but saw that he was already sitting next to someone. There was only one seat still open. The seat right next to Tonks. Great.

She knew Zeke was behind this. Why wouldn’t he be? No matter what Zeke was trying to do, Y/N still had to take the class. She sat down next to Tonks trying not to look her in the eyes. She quietly got out her book while their professor was talking.

When the professor announced a partner project Y/N started to contemplate all the ways she could murder Zeke and get away with it. He turned back to look at Y/N and gave her a dramatic wink. Y/N was mad but the emotion that overcame that was dread.

Y/N didn’t know what to do. She almost felt sick. She had to work on a project with someone who she’s been secretly in love with for 2 years. Y/N will probably be too awkward to help with the project but they had to do it anyways so she might as well bite the bullet and get it over with.

Y/N was practically stuck in her own mind until she heard Tonks say “Well it looks like we have a project together, Y/N is it?” Y/N nodded and said “Yeah.” They looked everything over and got done with the project sooner than expected. It went smoothly and Y/N forgot about the awkwardness she felt before, after all, Tonks didn’t know that Y/N was the one writing the letters.

During that short period of time Y/N felt the emotional wall that she had been building for 2 years slowly crumble down. She wasn’t as afraid as she was before. Maybe she didn’t have to hide behind the letters anymore. The veil of anonymity used to feel safe but now Y/N wanted to tear it down. She was tired of hiding behind two initials after a piece of poetry.

After Defense Against the Dark Arts, Y/N headed straight to her commons room. She knew what she needed to do. She was practically speed walking when Zeke caught up to her. He had a snarky grin on his face “So how did Defense against the dark arts go, Y/N.” She didn’t respond. She just kept walking much to the dismay of Zeke who expected at least a small shove.

When she got into her commons room she went straight up to her dorm and got a piece of parchment and a quill. But righty as she was about to write the message her insecurities caught up with her. ‘What if Tonks doesn’t like you if she saw you like that?’ ‘Why would she ever date you?’ ‘You’re better off just writing the letters’.

Y/N looked at the piece of parchment nervously. What she decided to do next could decide who she would be to Tonks. She could stay the girl from Defense against the dark arts or she could be her love or she could be that crazy girl who hit on her. The last one was the reason she didn’t want to write it but the first one was what she was afraid of. What if she never knew it was Y/N? What if she moved on and forgot about the letters?

Y/N couldn’t stand that idea so she picked up her quill and wrote it. It wasn’t anything special or romantic but it would be the most important letter that Y/N ever wrote to her. It wasn’t a lot but Y/N knew that it would change everything.

‘Meet me in the astronomy tower at 8 pm on Friday.’ She signed her initial for the last time and sent it to be delivered in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously guys, Follow Ezmiho on SoundCloud


	3. Chapter 3

Y/N was waiting in the astronomy tower. It was about 7:55 and Tonks should be here any minute. Luckily it was raining so no one else would come up. Her heart was racing out of her chest. In a few minutes she would have to come face to face with her not as a fellow student but as the anonymous person that has been sending her all these letters. Y/N was pacing back and forth thinking about everything that could go wrong.

It just turned 8 when Y/N heard someone coming up the stairs to the tower. She was looking out the window, trying to calm herself down by thinking of the positive things that could happen. She couldn’t seem to shake the worst thoughts from her mind. Why did she even decide to do this? When she heard Tonks call out “Hello?” She realized why.

Y/N took one last deep breath and turned around to look at her. She saw Tonks standing by the doorway. She was holding all 23 letters that Y/N ever sent to her. When Y/N turned around, she could see Tonks was a little shocked but who wouldn’t be? A girl she had only talked to a few times sent her the sweetest love letters that she imagined anyone had ever received.

“Y/N? Have you been sending these letters?” Tonks asked while walking closer to her. Y/N nodded and visibly blushed a deep shade of pink. Tonks put the letters on the ground and walked closer until her hand were on Y/N’s shoulders. Y/N looked up to look her in the eyes and she could see something in them. It wasn’t anything she had really seen before in anyone, well not when they were looking at her anyway. She saw that her eyes were full of lust.

Before Y/N got the chance to say anything Tonks smashed her lips against hers. Y/N was shocked. She never thought that someone would ever feel such strong emotions for her that they would kiss her without second thought. After the initial shock Y/N started to kiss her back, after all this is what she wanted more than anything.

The kisses were intense and heated. Tonks waited 2 years for this moment and she wasn’t gonna let it go wasted. She soon moved closer to a wall and pinned Y/N up against it. This isn’t how Y/N ever imagined her first kiss but who was she to complain about it? They both didn’t want to stop anytime soon.

It went on for a long while after that only momentarily stopping to take quick breaths. When they did decide to stop, Y/N looked like a mess. Her shirt was wrinkled and a few buttons even came undone. Her tights had a few rips, her hair was tangled and her lip stick was practically all over her lower face. Y/N was laying on the floor out of breath and Tonks was right next to her.

Tonks got up and grabbed one of the letters on the ground. She walked back over to Y/N who was now sitting up. She handed her the letter and said “I wrote this about a year ago in case I ever met you.” Y/N grabbed the letter and read it.

‘You are like the moon. Mysterious yet consistent. Once of month I can expect you to reflect your light onto me but you disappear soon after only to come back and bring me the same joy. I may never know who you are but I want you to know that I will always wait for your light to reflect again. ~N.T.’

Y/N couldn’t help but to feel tears swelling up in her eyes. “I know I don’t have a way with words like you do but...” “It’s perfect.” Y/N replied before Tonks even finished talking. Now the tears in her eyes were visible. Tonks quickly wrapped her in a sweet embrace like the ones Y/N talked about in her letters. It was warm and comforting and everything Y/N had hoped for.

“I hope this doesn’t mean you’ll stop sending the letters.” Tonks said “I wouldn’t even dream about it.” Y/N said with a smile on her face. They soon headed back to their dorm rooms. Y/N tried to clean herself up the best that she could but still clearly looked like something happened between the two of them.

When she walked into the commons room Zeke was sitting in there clearly waiting for her. Once he got a look at her he laughed. “What?” Y/N asked him. “But what if Tonks doesn’t like me?” He said trying to imitate Y/N’s voice. Y/N rolled her eyes and said “You don’t even have the guts to talk to Danny so you can’t say anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys I’m serious. Follow Ezmiho on SoundCloud or he’s gonna stop commenting on all my fanfics.


End file.
